In the past six years I’ve learned a lot about conversation from therapies that weren’t even my own. The give and take of language and how our minds process the information given to us. I don’t know that I ever learned the giving part properly. I’ll take all your words and digest them, but my own responses come out flippant and meaningless.
I want to be able to hold intelligent conversation, as I know it’s incredibly possible given the thoughts screaming inside of me. I joke that I’m forever 17 mentally, but worry that I won’t be able to hold up my end of the conversations.
This weekend I’m going out with friends and I’m terrified that they’ll see me as uninterested in what they’re saying or that I don’t have anything to add to the subject.
Liquid courage should help, but I know that with my own history I shouldn’t rely on false promises.
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