You were like a vacation or an unexpected breath of fresh air.
You were a break from my ordinary.
I needed what you offered and then you disappeared.
And I’m so tired.
I’m mentally, physically and spiritually exhausted.
I want to be unplugged for a week, but then when I asked and bartered for that time I was drug through the mud and everything became too loud.
And I’m crying again because I don’t know how I can walk back into that environment. My adrenaline soars just thinking of putting my key in the door.
I don’t know how others do it. I don’t know how they are able to regroup and do it over and over and over again without a break.
You were the closest thing I’ll get to a vacation, but the closer I get the more you look like a mirage.
My cup is so empty, I need touch. I need to be held. I need a break. There’s never enough time right now to recharge and it’s fatally frustrating.
I can’t breathe under this mask of the girl who smiles and does what’s asked of her.
I am choking on my own pleasantries and willingness to please.
I am screaming and nobody can hear me.