Stomach Bug Blues...

So here's a little something to bring a smile to all of our faces. Unfortunately, there's no real good performance video accompanying this song, so their sweet little faces should suffice. I love "Those Darlins." LOVE THEM.

MAMA'S 100TH POST!!!!

And get THIS, I won a bloggy award today!

So how amazing is this? I won a bloggy award thanks to my friend M from The M Half who hearts me apparently. I am grinning ear to ear! She sure knows how to pick a girl up when she's hatin on herself for totally, AND I MEAN TOTALLY, wrecking her diet last week. Two words, Thanksgiving Desserts. Oy vey. I was eating Cake Balls every time I saw one sitting all lonely on a counter, in a baggy, looking sad and pathetic. I kept thinking, "Get in my mouth little Cake Ball, it will be ok soon. You can party it up in my belly with the other cake balls." This logic? Didn't work out too well... or so I thought. I got on the scale last night and I still managed to lose a pound. Say WHAT!??! I know, right! Regardless of my twisted logic and ridiculously strange weight loss, I am NOT jinxing it and will be working out like I'm supposed to and eating like I'm supposed to from this point on... Specifically not when I am FIVE POUNDS from my second goal!!!!!!!!! More about that later. In the meantime, let's talk about awards!

So the Liebster Blog award, it's very much a "pay it forward" award and Mama digs that. Once you are awarded, you award 5 other Bloggers you heart. Sound easy enough? Not when the Blogs you read and lurv outnumber those who read and lurv you. Without further ado my chosen ones:

1. This lovely lady from "Not Just Another Mother Blogger." She's a Mom. She's Sassy. She LOVES to read. What's NOT to love!?!?? Let's just say that when I'm barely visible underneath my ridiculous mess of a desk, I will stop organizing when I see she's posted. She's starving for knowledge and seeing as I know what that's like, go tell her something interesting (tell her I sent you while you're at it!)
2. Whit from "three B's by the sea."  I am living vicariously through this girl. When her Man decided to go to Medical school in Sint Maartan, she packed up and went with him. SHE LIVES ON AN ISLAND YOU GUYS. Plus? She's young and pretty and ALSO loves to read. ((Do you see a pattern here yet?))
3. Goosie Goose over from "The (not always) Lazy W." She is uplifting, motivational, and whenever I'm feeling pouty I can be sure she's going to comment with something to instantly cheer me up. I'm insanely envious of her sewing skills seeing as I can't sew to save myself. She's also BFF's with the lovely M who awarded me with the Liebster award, so she's insta-Awesome right there!
4. This Mama from "Namaste by Day." She gets it. I mean, she really REALLY gets it. Being a Mom to a child with allergies (food, environmental, etc.) she knows it's a different kind of hard. She's got a good, kind, compassionate heart and it shows through all she writes, especially when life gets frustrating. How can you not love a Sista-blogger who ends her posts with "Namaste."
5. M. M awarded me with my very first (and only) award thus far and I was blindsided by it. M writes at "The M half of the M -n- J Show." I am probably breaking the rules of this Liebster Award by awarding the person who awarded me, but dude. Her tagline revolves around keeping her city weird and therapy. THERAPY. She's not afraid to be forward about any bloggy faux pas I commit (which reminds me, I need to go edit a few recent posts of mine) and she breathes yoga much like yours truly. She even let me guest post during her 31 days of Practicing Yoga challenge. I can always trust on her to comment on posts that NO one else will touch and to tweet me back when it's 2 in the morning here in Atlanta. (Thanks! I still love you! Perhaps I should change my iPhone settings though!)

In an almost entirely different note, I bought poster board tonight. Are you guys falling over in your chair? Did you forget to breathe out of sheer excitement of my poster board purchase? NO? You need some 'splainin? Ok, fine here you go! So Lo spent the last (almost) 2 weeks IN the house. 75% of that time he was coughing, feverish, cursed with the pink eye, etc. Of COURSE the weather has been gorgeous and OF COURSE we all came down with a serious case of cabin fever. What can I say, this is our luck. If the weather in Georgia is going to be comfortable, one or all of us will be sick. So today, might I mention that TOMORROW they go back to school, I have a light bulb moment.The kids need a structured day to survive and not go crazy. I wonder who they could have possibly inherited that from, says the woman who will stand in the middle of a messy room and cry because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FIRST! Today as I'm admiring my collection of holiday decorations I think to myself that while our advent calender has a great story and meaning behind it* it's kind of well... not something that has you screaming first thing each chilly December morning, "I MUST MOVE THE MOUSE! WE'RE ONE DAY CLOSER TO CHRISTMAS!"

My light bulb moment? A December schedule and the days are "advented." Is that even a word? It is now, write it down, minions! There will be designated chores for the day as well as miscellaneous arts/crafts/activities for each day. The (very tentative plan according to what brand Christmas paper I have) is to draw the "Calender" in the shape of a Christmas gift and use various scraps of Christmas wrap to cover up the day's schedule (y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's Hallmark brand, they have the seriously convenient grid on the back to help you cut in straight lines.) So what do you think? And yes, I just might have given away my very first craft for the Creating Christmas event I'm co-hosting with The Girl Creative.

I've literally been writing this post since... um... 10 a.m. It is a serious labor of love today banging out sections between cleaning bathrooms and mopping floors. Can you feel my enthusiasm for cleanliness? I'm oozing it today. After 100 posts, I can honestly say that I am oh so very very grateful for the followers I've accumulated. Y'all make me feel a lot less lonely when by the end of the day I'm wondering what friends from my past life (i.e. those who are still unmarried and/or without children) do with their time. Y'all? Y'all are amazing.

Also... After weighing in this morning, I managed to LOSE a pound over Thanksgiving break. Time to go check out Yoga Today to see what the freebie class is for the week. I'm only 5 pounds away from my second goal and I was TOTALLY 5 pounds heavier less than a month ago. I can do this!!! 189 is what I weighed when I got pregnant with Lo. 189 is goal weight number two. 179 and/or losing an "X" in front of or behind my clothing size is goal number three. That I can foresee being achieved no later than New Years. I'm already at the point where it is BEYOND embarrassing to go out into public with one of my larger sized shirts on. I'm beginning to feel as if I'm wearing a tent or ill fitting tunic by the time I return home. And yet, as much as I hate it? It only motivates me more. Here's hoping I can get by with looking ridiculous until tax time! Mommy's gonna need herself a new wardrobe by then!!! And now I'm officially spent, time for bed amigos!!!

*My Grandmother, Tillie was a twin to her sister Lillie. Lillie traveled to Germany as a Military Spouse and story has it, the Advent Calenders my Sister and I grew up with (and still have to this day) were brought home from Germany for us. Since she didn't have Grandchildren of her own for so long, my Sister and I often received little tokens from her as she was our "Grannie #2." I still have many ornaments given to me from her. Lillie passed away shortly before I got married and my own daughter was named in her honor. Once my Lillie was born, I sent pictures and cards to my Uncle (Aunt Lillie's Husband) in regards to my Lillie's progress. He passed away earlier last year and his Son told me after that my Uncle was always tickled to receive news of his little Lillie.

1.

It's like Christmas! Well... for my iPod at least.

Got a wild hair up my heiney and decided to finally get around to organizing (i.e. tossing) a bunch of old mixed playlists in my c.d. case. I know, I am SO OLD! What is a c.d.???? So I'm slowly uploading the salvageable ones to my iTunes and slipping them through the shredder when I'm finished. I found all my Tool and Radiohead albums which makes me one SUPER happy Mama! I'm freaking psyched!!! Come tax time, I hope to get my hands on a new (to me) vehicle and if it doesn't already have an iPod connection thingy, there WILL be one installed. For now, my visor will have to be my DJ.

I apologize if my posts seem forced right now. I just have a lot going through my brain and a lot of tasks to complete outside of what's on the desk in front of me. I promise to get back to regularly scheduled programming very, VERY, soon!!!

2.

Listacles.

1. Was blessed to have two Thanksgiving Dinners this year. Neither at my house. I'm saving that insanity for Christmas Dinner.
2. Totally did Black Friday last night. At 10 p.m. On Thursday. Which isn't quite Friday. Minor details, people. Was given $100 to spend on 4 kids. My total was $99.55, BOOYAH!
3. Had a panic attack in the middle of Toys R Us. 
4. Can't get enough of the Target commercials. My favorite? This one.

 

You will win this...

3.

Circa 1950 - Seminole Indian Thanksgiving Meal

I hope you're surrounded by those you love and I hope you are able to take a moment and be so very thankful for those who sacrificed for your freedom from now until before the founding of this very nation.

Eat an extra slice of pie for me and don't take "gobble till you wobble" too seriously.

From my family to yours, we wish you a very warm (and family filled... yes... even the annoying family) Thanksgiving and start to the Holiday season.

4.

While I'm scratching my head over the sheer awesomeness of these, I'll be making just your regular run of the mill Cake Balls for Thanksgiving this year alongside some Jenny Craig sides in hopes I don't completely FUBAR my diet completely. Longest sentence ever? Perhaps. Follow along if you'd like to learn how to make your very own Cake Balls/Pops!

If you're lucky, you'll have something fancy that looks like this... IF you're lucky.

1. Choose your favorite cake/icing combination.
2. Drive to store (or have someone else drive should you be intoxicated or under the influence.)
3. Buy cake mix/icing and candy coating/chocolate bark.
4. Bake cake.
5. Destroy cake and proceed to mix with 1 container icing/frosting (WHATEVER...)
6. Roll into little balls, do not give into temptation and eat them... yet...
7. Chill, yo!
8. Prepare bark/coating.
9. Dip yo' balls.
10. Decorate.

SIMPLE EASY PEASY! Don't be bummed out if your balls are ugly or sweaty. Changes in temperature and/or your decorating skills probably had something to do with it. But it's ok, your balls will ALWAYS taste friggen awesome. Trust me on this. Little hint, should you have frozen your balls, LET THEM DEFROST A LITTLE. Otherwise they will attempt to escape their coating any way they can. Doesn't make them any less edible, just a little more unappealing. Should you be making them into Cake Pops, dip the lollipop/popsicle stick into the coating/bark BEFORE spearing your balls BEFORE you dip your balls? Make sense? Great!

Leave a comment if you have any suggestions for my balls. And yes... I am a 14 year old boy apparently who thinks it's HA HA-LARIOUS to make lewd innuendos about balls. BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS. For that? I am grateful.

5.

Lookit this! YOU GUYS GET A TUESDAY TWO-FER! And here's why...

Actual Facebook status update from 10 minutes ago:

To yoga or not to yoga. THAT is the question... I mean... I did eat that handful of candy corn at my Mom's house... BUT SERIOUSLY... I failed a pop math quiz and it might have ruined any future I have in banking. ((Not that THAT was seriously something I considered wanting to be when I grew up.)) But since when is it ok to pop a math quiz at the END of an application? "You've done GREAT on 99.9% of this application, BUT in order to score an interview you must complete this test w/o a calculator and... BTW, you're gonna be timed! LOLMYBFFBILL! Good luck and shit!"

This sums up what my past week has been like. It feels like I've been filling out applications and scrolling ALL "Now Hiring" ad's for YEARS. So yes, I am in fact entitled to some pretty bad (maybe so bad it's awesome!??!) music to keep me from stabbing everyone around me.

 

As a matter of fact... we are indeed down with the sickness.

This never EVER happens on nice afternoons, at least not when he's involved.

Unfortunately. This "monster" of a head/chest cold turned into something far more sinister and miserable-ish for Lo. The child doesn't sleep as it is, and after camping out in his room last night, I know now for a fact that he doesn't sleep AT ALL. At least not when he's so congested it starts coming out his eyes. Because I am sleep deprived and itching everything out of sympathy, here's a little timeline of events for y'all.

Monday - Thursday of last week Lillie was a snotty, goobery, hacky mess. Many nights were spent with my head mashed against the baby monitor listening to make sure she was breathing. Ok, so I *might* get a little paranoid at times... ok... a LOT paranoid.

Friday - Lo started getting a little snotty while Lillie did cartwheels around him. Meh, no big deal now that she's survived a week of it. We'll just give him some kids 8 hour cough meds at night time, and he'll be ok.

Saturday - Full on panic mode. His nose is running, he's rubbing at his ears, his cough rivals an emphysema patient. Lots of whacking on the back ensues (I have, after all, survived mine and my Sister's childhood athsma issues.) Lots of fluids are involved. I high tail it to our local pharmacy and after becoming aggravated with the selection of dye-free cough/cold meds start checking out the homeopathic stuff hidden off in a corner of the store. A Pharmacist coming off her shift spots me with a good 10 bottles of meds scattered around me and asks if she can help, of which she can not. I can not be helped at this point. She confesses after 5 minutes of scratching her head and "Hmmmm-ing" at the bottles surrounding me that she actually knows NOTHING about homeopathic medicines. I start getting texts from the Husband at this point wondering just how long it takes to pick up cough medicine. INSULT TO INJURY PEOPLE. I am trying to make an informed decision! I finally whittle my choices down to the Similisan and Boiron bottles and I grab a bottle of Triaminic JUST IN CASE and take them to the new Pharmacist on the shift to make sure I'm not killing my child should I have to give him both the Similisan and the Triaminic at the same time. He actually tells me that I shouldn't need it as the Similisan gets awesome feedback. HUZZAH! A PHARMACIST THAT IS KNOWLEDGEABLE! The homeopathic products work... BUT... I can tell they're really only putting a dent on the iceberg in his sinus cavities.

I was not endorsed by any of these companies, which is OK, because I still love them despite.

 

Sunday - Hello, fever. Hello, nap time. The child is still unwell. Gets Triaminic AND Similisan at bedtime. Sleeps well for first 6 hours, and back to coughing every 5 minutes with yet another full blown fever. He wakes me up at 4:30 to ask if he can play. Sure, why the Hell not at this point. Just let me sleep in peace.

Monday - Right before lunchtime he comes to me and his left eye is oozing. This shit is so backed up it is COMING OUT HIS EYE.  I call the doctor. Appointment is at 4:30. Lo is upset. I am upset. Lillie just wants to scale me like a monkey and cough in my lunch. Back off, MONKEY! So far I have been spared from the sickness, the Husband? He is fighting (hopefully) sympathy symptoms.

I did the best I could, but sometimes I need help. I confessed this to Lo when he overheard me making his appointment. Kid is SCARED of doctors. I figured that with it passing through Lillie so quickly and non-aggressively that SURELY he would be back on his feet by the time the weekend was up. I was obviously wrong. Sometimes Mommy's need a little help to make the bigger decisions and as much as I'm anti-antibiotic, sometimes they are indeed necessary to get little guys back up into working order. I know that he, as well as the rest of the family, want to get back outside to run and play again. Specifically since it's 70 and humid outside. Fall? What's Fall? Until then, I'm stuck inside with "Mother Gothel."

But I 'da NICE Muddah Goffel. 'Punzel! Wet down yo hey-ya!

No Light.

You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said

It's only 8:30 and it's already been the longest morning of my life. I'm caught between two rocks right now. The kids have both been snotty and hacky for the past week, but it's not the first time in the past two months that they've been like this. Do I let them ride it out like last time? Do I drag them into the doctor and hope that their insurance has kicked in? Do I go knowing they'll give them antibiotics that I'm not excited about them receiving? Do I ignore all the old man's worries about the kids? They have NOT had fevers so I'm literally in no rush to make a decision, even though my subconscious apparently is. It's going to be a Florence + The Machine kind of day... I can just tell these things. Here's their latest and it's already stuck in my head.

Balance is NOT my strong suit.

This week, Mama Kat asked us what is our biggest parenting challenge and/or joy.

I know without a doubt, that I am a good parent. Yes, I question myself sometimes... like when I walk into a room and a certain (almost) 3 year old is throwing a very full cup of juice across the room, or when Logan slips up at the table and declares, "WHAT THE HELL!" when we serve him his dinner. But I know, despite the few and far between glitches, that I am doing my best for them. Now, I never said I wasn't selfish. All I could think about this morning on the way to dropping them off at Pre-K was how fast could I (legally) get home to crawl back into bed. I have issues with balance. Such as...

Balancing a check book. 

Balancing our schedule. 

 Balancing an (almost) 3 year old on my hip -- in her defense, she IS like the "teacup poodles" of (almost) 3 year olds. 

Balancing in tree pose.

My children are polar opposites of each other. One born in Summer, one born in Winter. One with colic, one who slept so much I worried myself sick that there was something gravely wrong with her. One is a morning person, one wants to party all night. Logan thrives off physical activity and interactions, Lillie spends her day pretending, reading and practicing her mad art skills (sometimes on the walls... doors.... anything she can use as her canvas really.) With their differences, I constantly feel like I fail them when it comes to how their days are laid out before them. At least when they have school, they have a blocked off set of time each week where they can BOTH have their needs met. Logan comes home with new grass stains each day and Lillie brings home masterpiece after overly glued masterpiece. When we're home, however, it's another story. When I'm struggling with my anxiety, dishes pile up... laundry doesn't get done... bathrooms don't get cleaned... I consistently feel as if I'm running from one household chore to the next, never fully accomplishing the last task before the next task has begun. My poor attempts at activities are completely seen through by Lillie who attempts to hold me down just to get in her 5 minutes of one on one.

So there you have it, balance is my challenge.

Awakening.

I am happy. I am sad. I am anxious. I am full of hope, light, love. I am depressed. I am healthy. I am blessed. I am lucky. I am hopeful. I am human.

It's funny how something as simple as clipping coupons can turn into an eye opening experience. I sat down tonight to get my coupons in order (nothing makes me more furious than seeing something at the store and KNOWING I have a coupon sitting at home in my coupon bin.) To break the silence of my mind I turned on the t.v., oddly enough TLC's "Extreme Couponing" was on. I watched my fill of that and started scanning channels. "The Buddha" narrated by Richard Gere was on PBS. I'd remembered hearing about this special months and MONTHS ago (maybe years?) and being intrigued, mentally jotting down that I needed to sit down and watch this. I probably went so far as mentally jotting the need to add it to my Netflix list. But I didn't.... mentally jotting anything down for me is a lost cause. I can't even tell you what underwear I'm wearing right now if THAT tells you anything. So tonight I tune the DVR to record the next showing, but end up watching the majority of it anyways. Even though I told the Husband he had to watch it with me, I watched it by myself.

I have been thirsty for a balance in my spiritual practice for weeks (months?) now. I drank till I was full tonight. I have felt this need come to a breaking point for so long and this was exactly what I needed. I needed to feel my heart fill up with truth and love, and I got just that.

Today my heart has been so heavy with everything that's happening under our roof. Stress from searching for a job. Stress from not being able to cure what ails my Husband. Stress from being the only able bodied adult, PHYSICALLY, in this house. Stress from keeping my cat out at night until he is flea free... AGAIN. Stress from financial issues. Tonight I realized, prior to walking into the grocery store, that while I'm on Jenny Craig (thanks to Harpo) we have MORE than enough in our food budget to contribute heavily towards the two Thanksgiving dinners we will be blessed to attend. It is only fair that we force offer what we can. We have no other way of really thanking them aside from, "Here, have a turkey!" Although, I do draw a line at having to cook it. I'm sorry, I just don't deal well with meat that looks even remotely close to what it appeared to be while alive. A whole turkey? FORGETABOUTIT.

So maybe my heart has been pushing me in this direction for longer than just a few hours ago when I realized "The Buddha" was on. Maybe my heart's been in on this all along. Nudging me forward and whispering in my ear that the key to my happiness, to the health of my human spirit, is simply by reaching outward while stoking the fire in my heart. I don't often speak about religion or spirituality, and please... PLEASE... don't take this as me pushing my beliefs on you. This is my little corner of the Universe where I'm allowed to spill the contents of my heart and head. I embrace the fact that everyone worships differently, and I am very vocal about the fact that God is in my heart and I do still very much believe that Jesus died for my sins... but the teachings and practices of Buddhism? They strike chords in me and make me feel alive and whole again.

Tomorrow night I will be back on my couch, this time with the Husband. Maybe we can both open our eyes and hearts a little more together once again.

Aum (ōm) n. Hinduism & Buddhism. The supreme and most sacred syllable, consisting in Sanskrit of the three sounds (a), (u), and (m), representing various fundamental triads and believed to be the spoken essence of the universe. ((I've always had it explained to me as the sound that was made when Earth was created OR, Cliff's Notes Version, the sound of Harmony.)) And yes... I had to take a boob shot with the phone leaving me with a backwards Om... and... boobs. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

Having a moment...

 Unfortunately, "Paycheck" and "For Profit" are nowhere in this cloud.

Having a moment where I truly wish I were paid to blog. Like, I wish I made some MAD money for my MAD skillz up in here. But alas, I do not. So instead, I'm cringing as I fill out applications for local grocery stores and hoping that instead I'm called back from Apartment leasing companies or even a local discount appliance distribution center. I only cringe over the grocery stores because I know they start at minimum wage, and you guys... there are 4 of us that need at least one working adult in our household. Sadly, I don't get paid cash MONEY (baaaaby) for being a stellar Mom and all around great person to know.

We need health insurance.
We need to not worry that utilities (be it what they may) are paid on time.
We need a second vehicle BADLY.
We need a serious back up plan in case our current living situation fails us.

This isn't about wants. This is about making sure our luck doesn't run out before it's too late. We have been so very VERY lucky up until this point. It's time to make sure my Husband can have the surgeries he needs so we can get back (or as close) to normal as soon as possible.

Because I promised a post like a gajillion years ago.

HERE I AM APOLOGIZING AGAIN!!! Does my Shutterfly post count? No? I'M SORRY, OK, SHEESH.

Good luck getting THESE out of your head... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

It's late, I wish I could think up all the other songs that are going through my head, but as of right now it's close to 1 a.m. and I have a bizarre mash up of the Chicken Dance and random Lionel Ritchie songs going through my head. I blame this on you, blog friends, I blame this on YOU.

Photo Card

So, Merry (not yet) Christmas, you guys!!! If I don't have your address, print this out and consider it sent straight from me to you, with love... Supahmama. Make sure it's front and center, ok? By the way. If you make a purchase on Shutterfly and choose to post your final creation, you are supposed to get a $10 credit towards your next order IF you post the final creation to your blog. Didn't know that? Well... now you do. :) I remember it working this time last year, and they offered me the option again but I'm still waiting. I should possibly be a little more patient, but that would require me to actually be a patient person. They obviously don't know me very well!

 

 

 

 

Sparkling Snowflakes Christmas

Create personalized Christmas photo cards at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

 

So many things to say...

...and not nearly enough brain cells to send the message to my fingers to "TYPE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TYPE ALREADY!!!"

So here's pretty much what's been bouncing around in ye olde skull of mine:

• My daughter just finally realized that she'll be 3 in January... meaning she's got a lot of "terrible 2's" to catch up on seeing as she never fully acted like your run of the mill 2 year old. Meaning, she is rotten rotten ROTTEN right now. I love her, I do... but can somebody take her for an hour or three? I need a break. Just make sure you've got EVERYTHING important to you nailed/glued/stapled down or it WILL either a.) disappear, b.) turn into a "Mast-uh-peas" or c.) get ripped up or eaten. It can go either way. She's back into her biting phase again. Apparently it's SOFA KING hilarious to draw blood with her fangs. And discipline? FORGETABOUTIT. That's mock worthy in and of itself. She laughs at your discipline and puts herself in timeout THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Can she get out of timeout now? Just checking. BY THE WAY, SHE'S GOING TO TAKE A BITE... JUST ONE BITE OUT OF EVERY LAST FRUIT IN THE FRUIT BOWL JUST FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES.... OF WHICH THERE ARE A LOT OF SHITS... AND GIGGLES...
• Exercise? What's that? I've been burning my calories freaking the fudge out over the above. Apparently, the calories I've been burning were empty calories as I have lost NADA in the last week. My Slimologist is gonna be pissed. Which she shouldn't be, because I'm pissed enough for the both of us. I just downloaded the Zumba demo for the Kinect because I had to do SOMETHING before I lost control and ate the entire value sized box of Skinny Cow Chocolate Truffle Bars.
• Even though I haven't lost weight, my wedding ring flew off in a fit of crazy a little while ago. Maybe I should eat those Truffle Bars just to make sure my rings stay on.
• My logic sucks.
• I need to go on a shopping spree... my clothing choices SUCK and you can only re-wear yoga pants so many times before they start to take themselves off at the end of the night.
• I still haven't unpacked my office/craft stuff that's been in the Husbands old office now... for... I don't know... a week now? Between "mother nature" and anxiety, I haven't exactly been motivated.
• Irony is having to cancel your orientation with your new therapist because you CAN NOT MISS your baby's very first Thanksgiving play and dinner (the same baby that made a $50 check written to MOMMY her grocery list, and why are Thanksgiving "dinner's" held at schools scheduled somewhere between breakfast and lunch? Riddle me THAT.)
• I'm motivating myself to get my office re-situated because I just signed on to be a part of The Girl Creative's Creating Christmas blog party. Dear Family, please do not read my blog between the dates stated on the blog party button to the right of this post... that is unless you ENJOY feigning surprise on Christmas Day. Got it? Good.
• I did dishes and laundry today... I even managed to get the last load out of the dryer which is a Christmas Miracle in itself. I always complain about the fact that I can't find this shirt or those pants and then come laundry day, SURPRISE! YOUR FAVORITE PANTS HAVE BEEN PARTYING IT UP WITH YOUR FAVORITE SHIRT!!! IN THE DRYER!!! FOR THE PAST WEEK!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!
• Apparently, I'm not allowed to quit Scentsy. People keep ordering and I can't complain because that's not exactly a bad thing.
• I stink something fierce. I should probably take a shower...
• Tomorrow, I promise to have my giant list of music that constantly plays in the background of my mind... every.single.day.of.my.life. Here's a hint, one song is the "Chicken Dance." Every day, people... EVERY DAY.

And that concludes today's list of inane thoughts from your favorite batty housewife.

End Scene.

I'm SO sorry you guys!

SO VERY VERY SORRY.

Yup, VERY aware of how old this song is... but I CANNOT GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD. Worst part? I haven't even seen this video for months. I do this shit to myself on a daily basis. Next "ear worm" I have, I promise to post a list along with it of all the songs that I hear on a daily basis in my head. For now, go hug a cat.

Falling in love again.

In this week's thrilling edition of "Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop," I have chosen to write a post about Fall in our neck of the woods. Convenient, no? Seeing as I just spent a morning recently being that Mom following my kids around our backyard snap snap snapping away on Instagram. You see, just south of Atlanta, the weather is still pretty bipolar for the seasons of Spring and Fall. It's not ever too cold nor too hot, just wishy washy enough to drive you a little crazy. Hence the reason my children and cousins can be found wearing an assortment of clothes covering several different weather types. Lillie dons rain boots, Logan sports short sleeves (though in his defense, he overheats easily), my cousins are wearing jackets and jeans. I swear I don't dress them funny, it just so happens we never know what it will be like outside after an hour or so.

In our neck of the woods, Fall means acorns are readily hurling themselves towards the earth and/or our roof. With the mass "release" of acorns comes squirrels. Of which I am TERRIFIED of. That's a discussion for another day. My Son is my trusty protector. Just don't tell him that his Nerf gun needs refills. I do my part by demolishing every last acorn I see on the ground. There's a satisfying "crunch" when you grind them into the patio. You should try it some time.

Fall is the ability to warm yourself up in the shade by playing hard in the leaves, or in our case, under the canopy of leaves that have yet to fall. We have spent literal months avoiding our play set. Not because it's boring, oh no, quite the opposite in fact. But because our area has been over run with ticks. And that's AFTER multiple (insanely toxic I'm sure) doses of flea/tick/whatever. Between powders, sprays, granules, etc., it never was completely free of them. I spent one evening picking at LEAST 100 baby ticks off of my Son. Unfortunately, with Spring and Fall come an over abundance of yellow jackets. Two of the four children in this picture have known allergies to bees/wasps/yellow jackets/etc. Yay for allergies!!!

Fall is for fashion statements. Never mind, every day is a good day for fashion statements if you're a 2 year old diva child.

I'm so blue...

God bless children. GOD BLESS THEM ALL. Today Lillie decided the paint would look much better on the floor than the walls. As I'm sure it wasn't intentional, her life was spared. On the plus side, my Mom pointed out that it's almost an improvement considering our flooring is 30 year old indoor/outdoor carpeting. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure our steam cleaner gave us the finger. WOMP WOMMMMMP.

So in other news... did you guys watch the Ready, Set, Go premier? You didn't? WHY THE HELL NOT? I was on there again for all of 5 seconds, and Holy cow you guys. Was I really that "fluffy." I barely recognize myself. I've been cheating on my diet off and on all week. You know, a MINI mini Snickers from the Halloween bucket here, a kids Clif bar there... little things. But after seeing my clip tonight, I think it's safe to say I'll be back on the wagon 100% starting NOW. I'm super glad they finally came out and announced that Ready, Set, Go is really Jenny Craig in disguise. Do you know how bad I am at keeping secrets? VERY BAD. I'm no good at poker. Hence the reason I'm always the first one naked in strip poker. OOPS, SECRET'S OUT. Please don't invite me over for a game, even though... I'm pretty smokin' right now. Or at least getting there. WINK WINK. Seriously though, it'd probably be smarter if you didn't.

To be terribly honest, I've not been in the writing mood... which I know, I KNOW, surprises all of you seeing as I've got all this "material" right now I could be writing on. My stomach's just not been in it lately. Literally. I haven't been feeling good these past two days. Not sure if it's anxiety or the fact that I've been a cheater cheater pumpkin eater on my diet, I just know that I'm not feeling so hot. I promise to get back into the habit of things, seeing as it's National Blog Writing Month or something to that effect. Just know that I'm trying, I really am. It's just hard to write and fight dry heaving all at the same time. And NO, I am definitely not pregnant so let's not even go there. Ok? Ok.

Head from Tails.

I know some of you are bummed I didn't get chosen to go back to Chicago, so I'm here to tell you to SIMMER DOWN FOLKS! Apparently the party ISN'T over. We will be given the opportunity for yet ANOTHER month of free food... meaning I just might hit my second goal before the New Year after all! Are you excited for me? BE EXCITED FOR ME. No pressure or anything... wink wink. I'm super stoked for the girls who were ultimately chosen to go back because despite the fact that we were all worth the trip back, they particularly were a super awesome group of ladies. I can't wait to see their big reveal in a few days as well as the celebrity reveal, anybody got any guesses? The only hints we were given was that it was a woman who'd given birth in the past 5 years and had 5 syllables in the name she goes by. I have a few guesses, but they're more than likely ALL WRONG. Ruby was my number 1 choice... but she doesn't have any kids. So boo to that!

I'm not necessarily sure if I can give you guys my statistics, but I CAN show you my current before/after. I can't wait to see what my "AFTER after" looks like in another month. Only time will tell, folks! I must warn you so you don't sue me, PLEASE shield your eyes on the before... I have NO sense of style, not even a trace of it exists post-motherhood. Lillie took all the style sense I had left. Pity me like it's your life purpose, ok?

Before

After

I still have a ways to go, but I'm so very glad that my jowls are gone. They just aren't appropriate on a lady... now if I could just get rid of my "Granny arms."

Again, thanks to ALL of you who've supported me thus far, I'm very appreciative of all my cheerleaders. I just wish I weren't constantly being contradicted by the higher up's who are controlling the program. I feel like I'm consistently leading you guys one way and then the next day changing the game plan on you. So, sorry about that! At least I'm keeping you all on your toes! Let's all be super jealous of my "Ready, Set, Go" ladies who ARE in Chicago this weekend as apparently they'll be sharing a state with the mystery celeb, Rosie herself AND Cyndi Lauper. This is my jealous face. Be glad you can't see me! The episode airs Tuesday, check your local listings for specific times and channel information.

Getting back to being ME.

So it's kind of funny how a month or so ago I wrote about how I was 99.9% sure I wasn't going to be on the Rosie show and then WHAM, next day they called. I'm still not a spotlight and glitz kind of girl. I'm "Wholesome" or as I like to tell my Husband, "A new breed of Wholesome." Well, now I know for sure that I'm not going back to Chicago, and you know what? I'm ok with that. I'm ok because I admitted (read the comments of the post above) that this ISN'T who I am. Yes, I'm very glad they were able to get me on a plane after being "grounded" for so long. Yes, I made so many new friends and I love EVERY. LAST. ONE. OF. THEM. Yes, I am ecstatic with the results thus far (stay tuned for before/afters). Throughout this entire process the one thing that has honest to God slapped a big rain cloud over my head? Not preparing family meals and being able to enjoy them with my loved ones. Sure, the kids have been thrilled by "bachelor dinners" prepared by the Husband, but I? Can't stand the wait. I would be a liar if I said I was jumping up and down with glee when my most recent box 'o food showed up on my doorstep. I am grateful for the tools they gave me, I will be sticking with more balanced portions in my diet, and I can't wait to see myself ANOTHER 20 pounds lighter. ((I started off my summer 20 pounds heavier than I am now, can you believe my In-laws aren't blinded by the amount of my skin they were subjected to??? Me neither!)) So with the following link heavy post, PLEASE feel free to link up to your favorite health and/or recipe related sites. I need to get cooking again AND I don't want to get bored with my yoga/walking routine. I'd love to do Zumba, hate the cost... get the idea?

Recently, amidst too many changes for my "CHANGE IS BAD" brain, the Husband and I switched offices. I used to have this little cocoon of a craft room and my office? Was a franken-desk shoved up against a wall in the living/dining room area next to our huge ass deep freeze. Did I mention we live in a basement? We live in a basement... AND EMBRACE IT, DAMMIT. So now my office/craft space is HIS old office/craft space. I now have a room at least twice as big with a closet and EVERYTHING. I'm not handling the transition very well if at all. My one happy moment was when I began to "glisten and glow" with warmth (ladies DON'T sweat) and I was able to facilitate a ceiling fan. I'm still smiling about the damn ceiling fan even though now I'm too cold to use it. By the way, losing 20ish pounds of fat will make a girl freeze to death. Take note, friends! So in hopes to kick start my "craft hunger," here are some crafts I've got on my dusty "to-do list." And yes, I will do crafts for profit if you're willing to pay. HINT HINT HOLIDAYS HINT.

1.) Chalkboard Dining Table

My poor Father HATES the idea of painting my $60 Craigslist find SOLID OAK table with chalkboard paint. I even went so far as to show him the paint at Lowe's the other day. He actually had a stroke discussed my absolute absurdity in front of me to a poor, unsuspecting Lowe's associate. Those guys don't get paid enough to put up with MY crazy shenanigans as it is to have to put up with my exasperated Father. In my Father's defense, it IS a solid oak table... in MY defense, the chalkboard paint would cover up 15+ years of damage the previous owner's children did to it. Plus, seriously? How cool is a chalkboard table??!?! My new fruit bowl would look so awesome atop the black top!

2.) Shrinky Dink Jewelry

OH. EM. GEE. Mother fluffin SHRINKY DINKS!!! My inner 7 year old girl is squealing right now. I have to do this... Unfortunately, the 17 year old girl in me who suffered hot glue gun burns bad enough to go to the E.R. is reeling in pain at the mere thought of handling these bad boys straight from the oven. Guess I best go invest in some "Ove-Gloves."

3.) Fancy origami mobiles

You know what, it doesn't even have to be origami! I just want to make fancy ass mobiles for girls and boys (and adults...) I could use felt, beads, paper, rocks... I just want to bang a few of these out and feel "fancy" afterwards. Have I said "fancy" enough? Fancy that, I haven't!

4.) Washer Pendant Necklaces

My loving Husband bought me an alphabet die set and a ton of other neat little crafting tools last Christmas. They were NOT meant for heavy duty washers unfortunately. I'm sure I can put those tools to good use at some point, but I need to find my Grandfather's heavy duty set somewhere lost under 30 years of items dumped randomly in the garage. Maybe now that it's cooler I can actually accomplish organizing that space (and who knows, maybe I'll find a treasure trove of washers to hammer on.) If I don't find any of those things, at least I know already that they're fairly cheap and I can paper the hell out of them with my handy dandy Mod Podge. Hmmmm... handmade Christmas gifts! Crap. I wasn't supposed to say that out loud.

So there's my top 4 craft wishes. You guys got anything other crafts I can pick over and make my own?

IS IT ANY WONDER!??!!!?

I purposefully take the long drive home if this song comes on when I'm just about home. Seriously. I added 4 minutes to my drive tonight JUST BECAUSE. And yes, I'm totally THAT person who dances like a total crazy person when her song comes on. Dear David Bowie... I love you, man. Love, Me... p.s. I like the 1975 original so much better. The 90's remix? Not so much... but you gotta work with what you got.

Oh, Ollie by Golly...

A day in the life of your pet…how bad do they have it?



6:00 a.m.: TWITCH TWITCH... (opens one eye) THAT CHILD IS AWAKE.
6:05 a.m.: MOMMY. MOMMY. MOMMY. MOMMY. MOMMY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WAKE UP AND LET ME OUTSIDE. LET ME OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW.
6:45 a.m.: Oh thank God. THANK GOD. Now let me out... come on... open the door. OPEN THE DOOR BEFORE HE SEES ME.
6:46 a.m.: SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL IT'S COLD OUT HERE. TWITCH. I suppose I can rough it for an hour till they leave.
8:25 a.m.: She is never going to open the door. She has forgotten about me. She's going to let them enjoy the nice cozy warm of INSIDE and I will perish forevermore on this cold ass patio. PLEASE SOMEONE LET ME IN.
8:26 a.m.: 'Bout damn time. Girl, you best not have forgotten about my breakfast.
((Licks nether regions for 20 minutes just to ensure they are still attached. Patio WAS cold after all.))
9:15 a.m.: PRAISE THE LORD! THE "LITTLEST ONE" FED ME TODAY! I wonder if Mom knows.
9:30 a.m.: Why is she taking all of my food!!! Doesn't she know I NEED the whole container to make up for all the energy I burned attempting to keep myself warm outside???
9:45 a.m.: (Scowling) Wow... I think I'm going to lay down right herzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
1:00 p.m.: What is that noise? OMG. OH. EM. GEE. Why is he shoving the light saber in my face? WHY? What is this kid's DEAL??!? ((HISS)) That ought to show him. I am SO scary! Roar! Poop time!!! Now if I can just get past... WHY IS HE CHASING ME? WHY WASN'T HE SCARED OF MY ROAR? I PUFF MY TAIL AT YOU, KID, BE AFRAID!!!
2:00 p.m.: LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT.
2:15 p.m.: Sooooo many birds. So many! Look at all the birds! This neighbor must love me SO much to have all these birds in his yard. I'm just going to lay down for a minute right herzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
6:00 p.m.: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUN?!?? WHY IS IT SO DARK??!??! WHY AM I SO HUNGRY!!!!??! Oh, THAT'S right... She stole all my food after "the good child" fed me. I'll teach her a lesson she'll NEVER forget!
6:20 p.m.: LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN.
((Licks nether regions for 20 minutes to make sure the birds didn't steal them in his sleep.))
6:45 p.m.: Oh good, I have plenty of water but she forgot to feed me. ((He finds me and howls in my face for 5 minutes.)) Chase me, Mommy! I have something to show you! HAHAHAHAHAHA, WATCH ME POOP IN THE BOX! ISN'T THIS FUN! Oh, and by the way, I'm out of food. What goes in must go out, right?
((Smells everything around the basement to make sure THAT TRAITOR CAT FROM WEST VIRGINIA hasn't peed on anything of his.))
9:00 p.m.: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Hold me. LOVE ME. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...