So many things to say...

...and not nearly enough brain cells to send the message to my fingers to "TYPE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TYPE ALREADY!!!"

So here's pretty much what's been bouncing around in ye olde skull of mine:

• My daughter just finally realized that she'll be 3 in January... meaning she's got a lot of "terrible 2's" to catch up on seeing as she never fully acted like your run of the mill 2 year old. Meaning, she is rotten rotten ROTTEN right now. I love her, I do... but can somebody take her for an hour or three? I need a break. Just make sure you've got EVERYTHING important to you nailed/glued/stapled down or it WILL either a.) disappear, b.) turn into a "Mast-uh-peas" or c.) get ripped up or eaten. It can go either way. She's back into her biting phase again. Apparently it's SOFA KING hilarious to draw blood with her fangs. And discipline? FORGETABOUTIT. That's mock worthy in and of itself. She laughs at your discipline and puts herself in timeout THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Can she get out of timeout now? Just checking. BY THE WAY, SHE'S GOING TO TAKE A BITE... JUST ONE BITE OUT OF EVERY LAST FRUIT IN THE FRUIT BOWL JUST FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES.... OF WHICH THERE ARE A LOT OF SHITS... AND GIGGLES...
• Exercise? What's that? I've been burning my calories freaking the fudge out over the above. Apparently, the calories I've been burning were empty calories as I have lost NADA in the last week. My Slimologist is gonna be pissed. Which she shouldn't be, because I'm pissed enough for the both of us. I just downloaded the Zumba demo for the Kinect because I had to do SOMETHING before I lost control and ate the entire value sized box of Skinny Cow Chocolate Truffle Bars.
• Even though I haven't lost weight, my wedding ring flew off in a fit of crazy a little while ago. Maybe I should eat those Truffle Bars just to make sure my rings stay on.
• My logic sucks.
• I need to go on a shopping spree... my clothing choices SUCK and you can only re-wear yoga pants so many times before they start to take themselves off at the end of the night.
• I still haven't unpacked my office/craft stuff that's been in the Husbands old office now... for... I don't know... a week now? Between "mother nature" and anxiety, I haven't exactly been motivated.
• Irony is having to cancel your orientation with your new therapist because you CAN NOT MISS your baby's very first Thanksgiving play and dinner (the same baby that made a $50 check written to MOMMY her grocery list, and why are Thanksgiving "dinner's" held at schools scheduled somewhere between breakfast and lunch? Riddle me THAT.)
• I'm motivating myself to get my office re-situated because I just signed on to be a part of The Girl Creative's Creating Christmas blog party. Dear Family, please do not read my blog between the dates stated on the blog party button to the right of this post... that is unless you ENJOY feigning surprise on Christmas Day. Got it? Good.
• I did dishes and laundry today... I even managed to get the last load out of the dryer which is a Christmas Miracle in itself. I always complain about the fact that I can't find this shirt or those pants and then come laundry day, SURPRISE! YOUR FAVORITE PANTS HAVE BEEN PARTYING IT UP WITH YOUR FAVORITE SHIRT!!! IN THE DRYER!!! FOR THE PAST WEEK!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!
• Apparently, I'm not allowed to quit Scentsy. People keep ordering and I can't complain because that's not exactly a bad thing.
• I stink something fierce. I should probably take a shower...
• Tomorrow, I promise to have my giant list of music that constantly plays in the background of my mind... every.single.day.of.my.life. Here's a hint, one song is the "Chicken Dance." Every day, people... EVERY DAY.

And that concludes today's list of inane thoughts from your favorite batty housewife.

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