Wednesday, August 29, 2018

I won't give up.

In the interim from date of enlightenment to the date of court for the divorce proceedings, I lost a bit of weight. It was hard to eat when you were grieving the man you thought you were married to. It was hard to breathe between the gut wrenching sobs and the need to sleep life away. In moments of clarity and light, I found myself opening my heart through yoga and reading.

In discovering love and acceptance, I've kind of let those things slip. When I feel my body crumpling in on itself, I stretch it out and take a few moments for myself to realign my spine and breathe. I know I need to get back on that saddle. I KNOW that my body will thank me. I know that the softness won't go away by making time to return to my breath and my body.

I shouldn't lose my attention to my body and breath when my focus is on the glittery, awe inspiring love that has washed over me this past year. I want to keep my health on the incline. I want to keep my mind sharp for both my present and for my future years to help defer any memory loss or issues with my cognition.

I want to spend the rest of my life feeling like this is the BEST of my life, that I can go on adventures... I can join in on last minute 5k's... or even stop, drop and yoga without killing myself or putting any bystanders in danger.

I want to know that my kids and partner are in it to win it with me as well, but first and foremost, I can only worry about my own motivation.

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