6:00 a.m.: TWITCH TWITCH... (opens one eye) THAT CHILD IS AWAKE.
6:05 a.m.: MOMMY. MOMMY. MOMMY. MOMMY. MOMMY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WAKE UP AND LET ME OUTSIDE. LET ME OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW.
6:45 a.m.: Oh thank God. THANK GOD. Now let me out... come on... open the door. OPEN THE DOOR BEFORE HE SEES ME.
6:46 a.m.: SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL IT'S COLD OUT HERE. TWITCH. I suppose I can rough it for an hour till they leave.
8:25 a.m.: She is never going to open the door. She has forgotten about me. She's going to let them enjoy the nice cozy warm of INSIDE and I will perish forevermore on this cold ass patio. PLEASE SOMEONE LET ME IN.
8:26 a.m.: 'Bout damn time. Girl, you best not have forgotten about my breakfast.
((Licks nether regions for 20 minutes just to ensure they are still attached. Patio WAS cold after all.))
9:15 a.m.: PRAISE THE LORD! THE "LITTLEST ONE" FED ME TODAY! I wonder if Mom knows.
9:30 a.m.: Why is she taking all of my food!!! Doesn't she know I NEED the whole container to make up for all the energy I burned attempting to keep myself warm outside???
9:45 a.m.: (Scowling) Wow... I think I'm going to lay down right herzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
1:00 p.m.: What is that noise? OMG. OH. EM. GEE. Why is he shoving the light saber in my face? WHY? What is this kid's DEAL??!? ((HISS)) That ought to show him. I am SO scary! Roar! Poop time!!! Now if I can just get past... WHY IS HE CHASING ME? WHY WASN'T HE SCARED OF MY ROAR? I PUFF MY TAIL AT YOU, KID, BE AFRAID!!!
2:00 p.m.: LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT.
2:15 p.m.: Sooooo many birds. So many! Look at all the birds! This neighbor must love me SO much to have all these birds in his yard. I'm just going to lay down for a minute right herzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
6:00 p.m.: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUN?!?? WHY IS IT SO DARK??!??! WHY AM I SO HUNGRY!!!!??! Oh, THAT'S right... She stole all my food after "the good child" fed me. I'll teach her a lesson she'll NEVER forget!
6:20 p.m.: LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN.
((Licks nether regions for 20 minutes to make sure the birds didn't steal them in his sleep.))
6:45 p.m.: Oh good, I have plenty of water but she forgot to feed me. ((He finds me and howls in my face for 5 minutes.)) Chase me, Mommy! I have something to show you! HAHAHAHAHAHA, WATCH ME POOP IN THE BOX! ISN'T THIS FUN! Oh, and by the way, I'm out of food. What goes in must go out, right?
((Smells everything around the basement to make sure THAT TRAITOR CAT FROM WEST VIRGINIA hasn't peed on anything of his.))
9:00 p.m.: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Hold me. LOVE ME. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...