I know without a doubt, that I am a good parent. Yes, I question myself sometimes... like when I walk into a room and a certain (almost) 3 year old is throwing a very full cup of juice across the room, or when Logan slips up at the table and declares, "WHAT THE HELL!" when we serve him his dinner. But I know, despite the few and far between glitches, that I am doing my best for them. Now, I never said I wasn't selfish. All I could think about this morning on the way to dropping them off at Pre-K was how fast could I (legally) get home to crawl back into bed. I have issues with balance. Such as...
Balancing a check book.
Balancing our schedule.
Balancing an (almost) 3 year old on my hip -- in her defense, she IS like the "teacup poodles" of (almost) 3 year olds.
Balancing in tree pose.
My children are polar opposites of each other. One born in Summer, one born in Winter. One with colic, one who slept so much I worried myself sick that there was something gravely wrong with her. One is a morning person, one wants to party all night. Logan thrives off physical activity and interactions, Lillie spends her day pretending, reading and practicing her mad art skills (sometimes on the walls... doors.... anything she can use as her canvas really.) With their differences, I constantly feel like I fail them when it comes to how their days are laid out before them. At least when they have school, they have a blocked off set of time each week where they can BOTH have their needs met. Logan comes home with new grass stains each day and Lillie brings home masterpiece after overly glued masterpiece. When we're home, however, it's another story. When I'm struggling with my anxiety, dishes pile up... laundry doesn't get done... bathrooms don't get cleaned... I consistently feel as if I'm running from one household chore to the next, never fully accomplishing the last task before the next task has begun. My poor attempts at activities are completely seen through by Lillie who attempts to hold me down just to get in her 5 minutes of one on one.
So there you have it, balance is my challenge.