I'll burn this bridge with the same lighter I use for my sage.

If you're not making every effort for the children you brought into the world like you do your stepchildren while they are literal CHILDREN; you have zero reason to throw a pity party when they become teenagers/adults and want nothing to do with you.

This cycle ends with my children.

I will no longer practice or allow codependency with/from other adults.

I will no longer make excuses for adults who can't make time to be in their lives.

I will no longer reach out to the other biological parent if I need assistance; if they want to show up and be a part of their lives they can call/text our children or even maybe add events/appointments to their own calendars and offer to assist.

It is not my job, my responsibility to tend to and baby every last adult associated with them by blood.

It is not my children's responsibility either.

And this is the mindset I'm utilizing to ring in the new school year.

I have one elementary school student, one middle school student and one high school student all under my roof.

My littlest has therapies and needs constant supervision.

My middle will be swimming in drama rehearsals and performances.

My biggest? Between needing a damn taxi to chauffeur him around and his odd jobs between family members and family friends, appointments to have his braces tweaked and adjusted, and Lord only knows what else...

We've GOT this! We've never needed you... or you... or even you. We've always had each other and they've always known that Mama will push a bitch down to make sure she's present (unless a sibling had something scheduled prior and I can't be everywhere.)

We make adjustments.

We prioritize self success without harming those around us.

We are aware of those who show up without having to be drug out unwillingly.

These babies were born of my flesh; built brick by brick inside my body... I will be damned if I nurture the same relationships for them that were coddled and cultivated for me in my youth.

If you want to find every excuse to not be present, we will stop asking you for answers.

YOU are the only one to blame for not making the effort. Not your spouse, not your step children, not your job... YOU are the only one to blame for showing them that in order to be relevant they have to live under your roof or merely exist within your field of vision.

It is a shame that I had to even waste my breath to say these things out loud.

But maybe... just maybe... saying them will remind those adults that my children are not pawns. They are not burdens, inconveniences or a means to make you feel better about yourselves. They are humans, future adults, that need to be taught how to survive in the real world. And not JUST survive,  but fucking thrive. I've only ever wanted these baby birds to be happy, healthy, know just how much they are loved and to be self sufficient enough to support themselves.

I am no longer existing to make your lives more manageable while drowning in mine and my kids needs and they need to learn that it is OK to say "no, figure it out for yourself."