Vintage Supahmama

November 19th, 2009 (originally titled, "An Update of Sorts")

Lillie Rae:

1. Has six teeth.
2. Weighs 20 pounds.
3. Just now moved into her 6-9/6-12 month clothes and size 4 shoes.
4. Can say: mama, dada, boppaw (Pappaw/my grandfather), juice, cookie, wow, uh-oh, kee-kee cat... I'm sure there are more as she parrots everything you say.
5. Climbs two steps to go upstairs before realizing you're not carrying her, and the Princess must be carried EVERYWHERE.
6. Stands alone for a few seconds at a time.
7. No longer has a bald spot on the back of her head, but her hair doesn't seem to be getting any longer... which of course annoys me because of this.
8. She says "dickle dickle" which is not nearly as bad as it sounds. She means "tickle tickle" and she reaches out and "jazz hands" at Lo in an attempt to tickle his belly. I don't think she's succeeded yet, but it gets him to play with her for a few seconds at least.
9. Is still nursing with no signs of stopping.
10. Went on spoon strike and has since only eaten half (if that) of what she normally ate from the jarred baby food. That girl is living off of snacks (she loves her some colby jack cheese) and boooooooob.

Logan/Puppy:

1. Came up to the husband with a broken down bulldozer today and said "batteries."
2. Came up to me, the one and only SUPAHMAMA, the other day and said "Mama, mo' nana peas." For those of you who don't understand Logan-ese, that would be "more banana, please."
3. Has started playing dress-up with daddy's work boots/clothing and my grandfather's (boppaw's) garden boots and hat.
4. Still thinks he's a puppy.
5. The doctor's no longer think he had hand/foot/mouth a few months back, we went in with the same damn symptoms (fever, rash, puss filled blisters in his throat and on his tonsils) to be told he has... wait for it... croup. No cough, no congestion, no runny nose. WTF.
6. Guess who was a puppy for Halloween and who's mother TOTALLY didn't get a single picture of him in his costume? You better bet your butt it was Logan Puppy.
7. Guess who found mommy's anti-depression/anxiety meds and managed to get them open fast enough to share with his sister, because "DUDE, MAMA, CAN-NEE!" Guess who also got to see his favorite paramedics shortly thereafter because his mama was a DUMBASS WHO LEFT HER PILLS IN A PLASTIC FREAKING ZIPLOC BAG. Yah, betcha again it was Logan Puppy. Not to worry, no harm done as neither kid had more than 3 a piece since I got to them and gagged them quick enough. They were awfully calm and (drugs are bad kids) stoned for the rest of the day, nap time ROCKED.
8. He has become rather bossy towards his sister and now there are three parents in the house instead of 2. I often hear "NO, CEECEE!!!" (sissy) at least once a day when she's either a.) getting too close to his much needed personal space or b.) threatening his view of his precious "Toy Story."
9. Weighs 34 pounds...
10. ...but is still not tall enough to wear 3t clothing in pants... only in tops. Poor kid, looks like that rogue tall gene didn't hit him.

SUPAHMAMA!!!:

1. Is still a total nutcase.
2. Is about to go on a Slimfast/yogurt/Slimfast/proteinbar/omgREALFOOD diet again.
3. has some serious thinking to do about what the future holds for this family and what she's going to have to do to obtain the future she and the the Husband want.
4. Both is and isn't bitter that the Husband took the initiative to go back to school... the slightly competitive woman in me is pissed, the lazy, "Meh, it'll happen when it happens" woman in me is all, "whatever dude, enjoy the time you've got with the kids while you're not obligated to do anything."
5. Decided to become a consultant for pure romance.
6. Got consumed with this.
7. Actually got SCARY excited when talking about her love for Martha Stewart's crafts and line of crafting supplies.
8. Is hoping Martha's not reading this RIGHT NOW, because dude... I'm still wearing the same pajamas I woke up in YESTERDAY. It's not like I do a lot of anything around here anyways, just ask my Husband. He'll agree.
9. Is the proud owner of two piece of shit Toyotas. THIS IS ME VOWING TO NEVER EVER OWN A TOYOTA AGAIN. THE. END.
10. Got intrigued by nanowrimo last year... enough that I think i'm going to rename it "nanowriye" (year instead of months for those of ya'll who are slow) and get back to work on something I started back in high school... you know, one of those emo-tastic novels from a teenage girl's point of view and Holy Lord, going back and reading it out of my mind seeing as my laptop doesn't have a floppy drive.

The Husband:

1. Um, so yah... I totally got distracted by that picture of mah MAAAAN. That was taken about the time I first met him 7ish, 8ish years ago.
2. The Husband currently has a gimp shoulder and we're trying to get it fixed, because if it's serious I am totally up to my knees in "Oh shit, MAMA needs a job."
3. God. He is HOT.
4. He looks even better in his firefighter garb.
5. It's easier to molest him now that he's all doped up on pain meds and muscle relaxants.
6. Crap. His parents read this. HI MOM!
7. We find out tomorrow(ish) what the verdict is on aforementioned gimp shoulder and I OMG I'll be the only one able to change diapers for SIX WEEKS.
8. HOT.
9. HOT HOT.
10. HOT HOT HOT.

el fin.