Grateful.

I am grateful to be exhausted as I post this up before bed. 11 p.m. is the new 2 a.m. for me. I can barely keep my eyes open as I write this.

I am grateful that my employer took a leap of faith on me and are willing to work with me as a "first timer" in this profession... and no... I didn't take to stripping. I didn't get THAT desperate. I DID stick to my guns to find a job that would not only bring income into the family but would also help us to move out into the great big world as *gasp* ADULTS. Adults with CHILDREN and RESPONSIBILITIES. For the first time in 5 years I finally feel as if we're moving forward and out of the endless cycles we've created for ourselves. Wasn't it Einstein who said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results? Our new home will be ready to move in shortly after the beginning of July. I chose a home off the board of rentals that nobody wanted to touch because it needed so much work. And yes, I did that on purpose. New carpet, new paint, new appliances, new water heater, new beginnings for everyone involved.

I am grateful that my Husband is flourishing and adapting well to his new role as "Haus Frau" as he so lovingly refers to himself. I'm not the only one going through this transition and trying to find my footing. We'll get there. And I know it will take patience and persistence.

I am grateful to my family for being so supportive of us and for recognizing after their initial concerns, that my taking a job truly was for the best. Even though my Grandfather thinks I'm trying to prove to the Husband that he needs to be careful what he wishes for. Insert "lol" here. Yes, I might have had that thought in the back of my mind as I accepted the job, but I'm ok with that and with my Husband knowing that. I also know that he busted his butt working when he could and that he needs time to get his head straight and to enjoy the constant running monologue that is our little Honey Badger and having to talk Lo off the ceiling when he gets anxious. He's getting pretty good at that last one since Lo is ME in a little boy body.

I am grateful to that man, who took my hand on our long drive home 8 years ago this weekend and has stood strong beside me ever since. He is honest and big hearted, coming out of his comfort zone while I'm hyperventilating to rub my back and force conversation out of me like a BOSS. He's learning, you guys, and I couldn't be more proud.

I am grateful for my Mom who worries about me so much she can't see that I'm doing enough worrying for the both of us already. I don't need help in the "worry" department. I worry like I'm getting paid to do so. Oh if only... I'm grateful that she takes me shoe shopping to find the world's most uncomfortable shoes so I don't get written up on my first week at work. I'm grateful that she takes the kids for a few hours when she can and treats them to the forbidden fruit of McDonalds after church. I pray (no pun intended) that it's only because Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays. McDonalds is the devil. End rant.

I am grateful for YOU. For my blog followers who sit idly by while I lose my mind, take a job, and then take a job while losing my mind. June is going to be full of awesomeness. Each post is going to be a nugget of joy, THAT I can promise you without crossing my fingers behind my back.

The times, they are a changing, and for once... I am not just anxious, but GRATEFUL for the opportunity and ability TO change.