Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Mama, in real life.

 Unless that would involve the pain of others.

I am AWKWARD. I will be the first to admit it. I say things at the wrong times, make involuntary movements, and I will LAUGH at your pain. To your face. It happens, and I just can't help it. Just ask my family. Go ahead, ask away!

Ask my Husband about the time I had him attempt to put something under my bed. How I lived in a loft with super slippery concrete floors. How he PROPELLED himself into one of the supports for my bed and cut his brow open. That? Had me on the floor in tears. In tears, people! I was a snotty, sobbing mess I was laughing so hard.

How about the time (insert child's name here) fell/ran into something/cracked their head on anything. It is my knee jerk response to other people's pain. I get that laugh where I can't breathe, where it's so inappropriate I end up ashamed of myself. It's not anything I can help, seriously.

I just learned about "hunch-cat" and that? RUINS ME. I am not not able to be left alone with  my thoughts. God forbid someone dies, because I know that I'll end up at the funeral in stitches as "hunch-cat" pops out of nowhere in my mind. The other night I just happened to have that stupid cat pop into my head right as I was starting to doze and I had to leave the freaking room so I wouldn't wake my Husband.

When I'm nervous I talk. Just ask the sonogram technician at the hospital I had the boy at. I was admitted a week before I had my son for a few hours to do some stress testing and OF COURSE the testing itself made me more nervous than the actual results (which this whole story is SERIOUSLY for another day.) The entire wheelchair ride to his little sonogram room, the duration of my test - which he probably craved silence for, and the entire ride back I talked nonstop. My poor Husband was laughing at me and trying desperately to get me to stop.

It's almost sad to watch me in action. Between the brain fog (I was a bad teenager AND I have two kids) and the awkwardness, I should probably wear a protective suit and have emergency tranquilizers so I don't end up mortifying myself.


  1. ROFL...are we twins????? I had my one son ask me " mommy why do. You laugh when we get hurt?"
    Becuz mommy is an immature

  2. Hunch-cat. I'm never going to be the same again. That's. AWESOME!

    The puppy was chasing Hubs around the table last night and smooshed her sweet little face into the table. Tears. I laughed so hard. Poor thing.

    Visiting from MamaKat's!

  3. Scarlet, TWINS, we must be! I must be YOUR Mother's child though as I always swear I had to have been adopted. More on that in another post.

    M, I would have been on the floor laughing WITH you AT the puppy. He never would have been able to show his face in Petsmart again!

  4. Laughing is the best, appropriately or not.

  5. That it is, except for when you feel super guilty about it seconds after you can compose yourself!

  6. Yeah, I really hate it when I laugh at one of the kids. They don't understand that I did not mean to laugh. I just can't help it.

  7. Patty, AGREED. My kids are a little (ok, a lot awkward just like their Mama and Daddy) and walls apparently get in their way and I KNOW in my heart they're in pain, but I just can't stop. I have to bite my own lip to stifle the giggles. It is a horrible problem half the time. The other half it makes the moments not so serious.